Wednesday, December 16, 2009

A Moses Moment...

It is so weird to think, but it's very true. I had a Moses Moment.

My dad and I drove to Colorado for Thanksgiving to visit my mom and my dad's family, who are now residing in the same city. I got to catch up with my cousins who I haven't seen in four or more years. We talked a lot about memories and about our family and our lives--where we are right now and how we ended up here.

One night, my cousin Danny, who is about my age, took me out to dinner. He looked across the table at me questioningly and said, "So, Peru, huh. Didn't see that one coming," and sort of just laughed. I laughed as I agreed, and tried to explain how I got to Peru. 1. I was not satisified with life where I was. 2. I wanted to see something different. 3. I knew there must have been more. I didn't tell him that our grandfather had convinced our grandmother to be missionaries in Peru once my father and his mother had grown. Our grandfather died when my dad was 13 and his mother was 9 and they never went to Peru.

On our way back to North Dakota, I was riding as my dad drove. The incredibly warm sun filtered in through the car window, shining on my face as I relaxed my eyes and let the vacation days with family roll around in my head and I had a moment. An honest to God, Moses moment.

I have been struggling with what to do next in my life. I feel a very strong call to a life of service, but to be perfectly honest, I am also very seduced by a life of enjoying friends and family and not really worrying about the world. And it is a struggle for me to give away that non-chalant normal North American life, for a service-filled one. The flip side of that is, I don't know how I could ignore the passion I feel for spirituality, social justice, human rights and LOVE. That would simply not be enough.

In my Moses Moment, (did I mention that I started reading the bible about 9 months ago and just began Exodus), I thought, "Why me? Why, out of everyone in my family, all of my friends, all of the people I know, was I chosen to go to Peru? to have my life changed? Why me?" and the answer was so simple. Because my heart could be changed. My heart could be filled with that passion. And my thoughts responded immediately, "But, really? Me? I think someone else could do this better. Someone else is more prepared for this work. I am not smart enough, I don't have the background, I don't even know where I am going." and the answer even more simply put, You don't need to know where you are going, you just need to follow your heart. You will get there.

So, as the sun beat down on my face, I second guessed my creator, my life force, and was reassured that my heart had it right.

Soon, I will let you all know where my path is leading me.
peace and love,

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